I've been perplexed in light of recent events, and in a matter of a few sentences I will, without a doubt, be treading in some fairly deep and stormy waters. Now, first and foremost I want to make it clear that I am not a mom, I am not becoming one in the near future, I don't claim to know anything about being a mom, I'm not belittling the job of being a mom, I think there is nothing more remarkable and beautiful than being a mom, I love moms, I have the best one, my sister is a mom and she's one of my favorite humans on the planet and watching her grow as a mom brings me great joy and fills me with the utmost amount of respect for what it means to be a mom. I think that the passion that moms have is the strongest form of human resiliency known to man kind.
I especially love when moms stand up for something they believe in. Conviction is one of the greatest leaders of social change and empowerment. Conviction towards a certain topic is what drives people to do extraordinary things and make influencial change to better our world. And the purpose of this blog post is not to question the topics of the issues and concerns moms are fighting for. I am however questioning the topics that we, as women, as a whole, aren't fighting for.
In light of recent events involving the debates of public breast feeding I have once again been reminded of the power moms have to facilitate social change. If you get enough moms together I know there is nothing they can't do together. Moms are just that good. And while I think breast feeding is a beautiful, natural and intimate exchange between a woman and her child it doesn't strike me as the greatest social concern we, as women, have. Now I am by no means belittling those women who's strong convictions have lead them to bring this to the public eye, in fact I encourage them, because as we've seen there has in fact been a change of heart of the misspoken individual involved. This is important. When the voices of people gather they will be heard. In this instance the situation has been flooding blogposts around the continent, meaning many more voices will hear the concerns of the people. So I am not discouraging moms from taking these stands, but I am challenging them to take it a step further, not necessarily with this particular example, but with other topics that women suffer because of. Imagine if all the people out there debating this topic started raising awareness regarding other issues that are devastating our society.
You see while moms take to social media to have their voices heard in regards to issues surrounding parenting and being a mom, there are even more voices not being heard. And those are the voices of your daughters. So although advocating for your right to nurse in public is a valid debate, it's not one that the child in your arms is going to be concerned with in the next two decades of her life. I'm not suggesting you stop advocating these rights, I'm hoping, no asking, no begging that you could take this energy, this passion, this drive, this zeal, and take it a step further, because although there will be a day where your daughter is nursing in public and some uneducated person is going to comment on it, there will be scenarios in your daughters life far more detrimental to her existence, and you, her mom, can play a role in changing that, so that things like breast feeding in public could be her biggest concern.
Because although there will possibly be a day where your daughter calls you saying some jerk told her to cover up while she was nursing your grandchild, there's going to be other concerns weighing much more heavily on her, and it's these concerns that I hope you driven moms can direct your passion towards because if society continues on as it is, being asked to cover up will be the least of your daughters concerns.
For instance,
While your son is working in manual labour, making $20-$30 for 14 weeks every summer to pay for university, your daughter will be selling her body to customers ordering side salads with dressing on the side in her most desperate attempt to make a few extra bucks in waitressing tips on top of the minimum wage she's making every hour of every weekend of every week of the year just to put herself through university.
And while attaining a degree equivalent to that of your son, your daughter will then (try to) enter the work force and if she's lucky enough to even to get a job, she will be making 70 cents to every dollar her male "equals" will make.
Or how about the fact that your flawless, innocent, beautiful little baby girl will one day grow up and believe that she's fat. It won't matter what shape or size her body is. She will. Without a doubt. At some point in her life she will look into a mirror and say "I'm fat". And in that moment there will be absolutely nothing you can say or do to convince her otherwise.
Or how about that little angel of yours, who as a child is going to want to grow up to become a marine biologist, or a doctor, or professional athelete? Cause one day she's going to realize that it's not cool to take science classes; and that because she's a woman she should be a nurse and not a doctor because she'll be expected to have kids and it's too hard to be a mom in med school; or how it wouldn't be a good idea to be a pro athlete because being strong is seen as being masculine and if people view her as masculine she won't be seen as a dainty woman and what man is going to love her then?
So you can stand outside restaurants and demand that one person's lack of understanding receive recognition or you could be standing outside the media companies, the businesses, the corporations, the institutions that will one day tear your daughter down and make her believe that she deserves less than the incredible things she is capable of achieving. You can stop society from believing that breast feeding in privacy is the only thing your daughter is capable of.
Because if you can take that conviction and drive you have to advocate for your right to bare breast, then imagine what you could do for your daughter. Cause instead of your daughter simply sitting in some man's restaurant exercising her right to breast feed her child, or exercising her breasts in the restaurant to pay for college,
she could just own the restaurant...
-m.o